Dear Lego . . .

Dear Lego,

I hate you. 

Harsh? Maybe a bit. 

But sometimes I do really, really hate you. I think my husband feels the same way at times too! Sure, every Christmas I buy what seems like oodles of boxes filled with your colorful pieces. At the time I don't realize what I am doing . . . I just keep throwing boxes of LEGO's into my cart. 
You plan your ploy of making me give into buying you so, so well! The commercials, the ads at kid eye level, the  "these-are-super-cool-I-need-it" sets - you play it well! And like a sucker I keep on chucking your boxes into my cart and forking over money. I even went to your actual store and loaded a large cup with all the LEGO's I could squish into it. I got creative and made sure that I got way more than my money's worth. I had to get the super tiny pieces because we were making these for the kids valentines. You make them cute and I just can't resist at times. But then I get buyers remorse and then remember that . . .

 . . . I hate you.

Why do I hate you?? Well, you see . . . I find my feet to be a very important part of my body. They help me stand, get me places, hold my shoes on . . . you know, they are useful. And when I step on one of your little blocks it sends shock waves up my leg into my head and the pain makes me scream out loud! It doesn't matter which way the block is positioned, it hurts!! But I have noticed that if you are completely upside down it hurts way worse! It's like that little corner is actually slicing into my heel. OUCH! 
You have gotten smarter in your design over the years. When I was a kid all of your pieces were pretty much blocks. At least the ones I had were. But technically they were never really mine in the first place. They were hand me down LEGO's from the dark ages of when my sisters were youths. (Love you guys!) Being my mother's last child she probably got smart and realized that I could manage with the old school plain block LEGO with the occasional slanted 2X2 that represented a computer from the 80's. The less LEGO'S I had the less she had to deal with that horrid pain! I am sure her feet thanked her. Now days you have done well with the extra special pieces. You have added some sharper edges and pointy weapons and flowers . . . oh those flowers! Who would think that those sweet little flowers would hurt the worst?! They are little thorns disguised as precious pink flowers is what they really are.
Now I know what some mothers who may come across this are thinking . . . "If you had your children pick them up you wouldn't be stepping on them." I can imagine those mothers right now . . . they are probably the ones that have those special little organizers to divide them by color/guy/collection/wheels/etc. My children would pity those kids that have to pull apart their LEGO creations just to make them look pretty. Our house has two special shelves reserved for my children's precious creations made of you stinkin' LEGOs. (gigantic eyeroll!) I do have them pick you up every night and a couple of times a day. I even help at times. But you are very clever to make some of your pieces super small so that they do not all make it into the box. They cannot be detected by the naked human eye only by the naked human foot! And trust me my little toesies find every single one of them every time!
The other day after we had cleaned you up and I stepped on a few of you stragglers I began vacuuming the floor. OOPS! I accidentally sucked one piece up . . . whoopsie . . . there went another one! And another . . . a smile began to form across my face. It was a very sinister smile I must confess. I sucked up probably 5 pieces as I planned my next move for you. I dreamed of digging you out of the nasty vacuum and crushing you with a hammer. But then I realized you would be in even tinnier pieces for me to step on. No good. I thought of digging a hole and burying every last one of you. But I found a few old pieces in my flower beds when I planted some flowers last year. I think my sister tried that one with my nephews LEGO's when they used to live here. I began to think you were indestructible until I got an even better idea. I would melt the whole lot of you in my big cookie sheet. (I hope you are gluten free;) You would be one big solid block. MWAHAHAHA !!! (That's my evil laugh.;)
As I thought more about my plan I realized that my kiddos love you. They play for hours together making stuff and creating. Chloe is in dire want of the new Friends house. She is saving her money for the real one. But until then she has made her own. It is really cute! So far she has a bed and a kitchen faucet, a computer table with four chairs and a tv about the size of the house itself. - it is just darling. She spends a lot of time coming up with new creations. And Logan loves creating all of the tough Star Wars sets. He has quite a few. Every once in a while he mixes them up and makes his own creation. He proudly displays them on one of those special shelves we have.
I guess I do love you my dear sweet LEGO's. Let's be friends, because I don't want to "LEGO" of you! :) Do you forgive me? I sure do hope you do. Now could you do me a favor??? Please dodge my feet when I walk?? That would be super! But you can stay in my husbands path because it's always funnier when someone else steps on them! MWAHAHAHA! :)

Love,
A LEGO Mom.